My Scully
by Child Of the Faeries
Summary: Mulder searches for Scully after she left him years ago.....and is suprised at what he finds.


My Scully 

**I still remember the day she left me- broken, hollow and without any reason to life . "I'm sorry Mulder. But ever since Diana Fowley came around, you have turned into a man I don't even know. You have......spaced yourself from your job, your life.....even me. You ask me to trust you, and Mulder, I can't. I won't. We were..... once as close as can be, and then Diana showed up. You followed her blindly, and didn't trust me even as I still tried to trust you. And it hurt, Mulder. I felt betrayed." 

"But Scully, I always trusted your judgment. I never once questioned you on anything," I had said, looking up suddenly. 

"Mulder, anything that had to do with Diana Fowley you totally closed me out of. I had to ask the Lone Gun Men for help, and I eventually began to trust them more than I trusted you. Even after Diana's death, we weren't partners anymore, Mulder. Anticipating the other's move, trusting their instinct." She paused, and looked me in the eye." I sent Skinner my letter of resignation a week ago. Today was my last day in the office." 

"Scully....you can't......" 

"I did, Mulder. I've officially quit working for the FBI. I hope you have a happy life, and sweet dreams about Diana." She turned and walked out of our office. 

"Scully.........Scully!" She couldn't be serious. That wasn't possible.** 

Four years and three months later, I realize it was possible. I broke of couple of FBI rules, bent some corners, and found out where Scully was living. I booked myself the first flight out to California. I asked around, and found out that she usually spend Friday nights here, a bar with strobe lights and loud music, with her boyfriend. I just needed to see her one more time. 

I sat on a bar stool and ordered myself another drink. After awhile, I began to wonder if this was really where my Scully would hang out. Ordering another round, I asked one of the bartenders about a Dana Scully. 

"Dana? Sure. She comes in here all the time. In fact, I thought I saw her here tonight." He moved away, but returned quickly. "There she is. Out in the middle, in the blue dress." I casually glanced that way, then started and looked at her again. 

Her hair was long, much longer that it had been when she worked for the FBI. She was wearing a tight blue dress, black boots.. Surrounded by a couple of people, she was dancing to the beat- something my Scully would have never done. Suddenly, laughing, she walked over towards me. My heart started to beat. 

She brushed by me without a second glance, and planted a kiss on the bartender's cheek. "Hey Charlie. What's up tonight?" 

"Why are you here all alone, Dana? Where's Mel?" 

"Out of town. He's visiting his friends. West Coast living just isn't for him." She laughed, then asked for a drink. Charlie left briefly, and I drunk in the sight of Scully. 

But it couldn't be. Scully was so refined, dignified, without much humor but with a passion for life. This girl was out for a good time on the town. They couldn't be the same person. "When are you planning to go home?" the bartender she had called Charlie asked. 

"I don't know. Since Mel is gone, I don't have anything to do tomorrow, so I might go bar-hopping and stay up all night." 

"That's not really good for your health." 

" You're a lot younger than me, brother dear. Don't tell me what I can and cannot do." She grinned, and took a drink. "Actually, I'm going to head home in about an hour and I'm going to work on my book." 

I turned away, confused. Scully, working on a book? I don't think so. My Scully wouldn't be writing a book or anything of that sort. They had to be different people. 

"So, did you ever think about moving back to the East Coast with him? " Charlie asked. 

"He knows how I feel about Washington, and he promised me he'd never force me to go back there," she said, her tone dropping rapidly. 

"I don't blame you. Your partner- what was his name- he treated you bad, Dana. You know that, right?" 

"Mulder." She paused, and her voice sounded almost sad. "Yeah. I know he treated me like dirt." 

" I'm glad you came back, sis. I wouldn't go back to Washington if I had the chance." She looked up at him, and her smile illuminated the room. 

"You know.....never would I." Grinning, she leaned against the counter. 

"Go home, Dana. You'd better leave now before you get drunk and I have to bring you home." 

"Oh Charlie. Lighten up. I'm not going to get drunk. This is my first drink of the night." 

Scully......she was my Scully, the one I had loved and cherished. In the past four years, she had totally changed, yet underneath, I could still detect a glimmer of the girl she used to be. 

"There was a guy here tonight asking about you," Charlie said. I bent over and tried to hide behind the guy in front on me. 

"Really? What did he want to know?" "Just if you were around. He looked really nervous, Dana. Have you gotten yourself into drugs or something else?" Charlie asked, concerned. 

"Are you kidding? What kind of a freak do you think I am?" Scully demanded. "Oh well. If he tries to mess with me, he'll have to take it up with Mel." Sighing, she kissed Charlie on the cheek again. "I'd better get to work or I'll never make this dead line." "See ya tomorrow, Dana. Call me and we'll do something, okay?" he called after her. 

"Sure. Talk to you later." With an arrogant toss of her head, she bound away from the counter and strode towards the door. I followed her at a distance. 

After a short drive, her car stopped in front of a small brick house. Neat and tidy, it looked a lot like the kind of house she would have had back in D.C. 

I watched her open the house door and walk in. With one final glance at her, I drove away. 

In my hotel room that night, my mind was a mess. I kept replaying her sight, amazed.....and afraid of what she had become. I had hoped.....that I would have found her exactly how she left, same dark tailored suits and perfect hair, few smiles and harsh skepticism. I wanted her to miss me as much as I had missed her, and that she would welcome me into her arms with love. I knew now that would not be the case. 

But somehow, she was now a whole-being- full of a radiant life that I didn't know that she possessed. 

Should I confront her, or should I leave without saying a word? Which would be better for me? I still loved her, from the bottom of my heart. 

Gathering up my courage, the next morning I parked my car a block down and walked past her house. The shades were closed, but I could be the light shining from multicolored lamps within. Nervously, I stood at the foot of her driveway. Should I knock, or just walk away? 

"What a wus," I said to myself. "Can't even say hello to his ex partner. No guts, no glory." Dejectedly, I swung around and started to walk away. But why was I here? Wasn't I a bit curious about what had happened to her- what she was like after all of these years? I would go and talk to her. I had to. 

I knocked lightly in the door, closing my eyes and praying that she wasn't home. I knocked again. 

"I'm coming! Hold on!" she called from within, and I could see her shadow moving into the entry way. I heard the bolt slide away, and the door opened. She walked out, and I couldn't breathe. 

She was dressed in a tight blue shirt, blue jeans. Her hair was pulled back in a high ponytail, curly and tangled in a tactful way. She was wearing very little make-up, just a light lip gloss. 

"Hi. Do I......." she looked at me, and our eyes met, her voice failing. She continued to look into my eyes for an eternity. 

Finally she broke the silence. "What are you doing here?" she asked, low and painfully. 

"I came looking for you. Listen, Scully, let me explain......" 

"It's Dana....Mulder." She looked around and saw her neighbors watching her. "Come inside before somebody tells Mel I'm getting strange men visitors in dark suits." She swung door behind her. 

Her house looked a lot like my house...only different. Cooler. Several lamps were place through out the front room, allowing enough light to see but not much else. Sighing, she let her hair down and hit the light switch. 

"Want something to drink?" she asked, walking towards what I assumed as the kitchen. 

"No, that's okay." She stopped, and turned towards me, frustrated. 

"Why are you here, Mulder?" 

The tone of her voice hurt me. I stepped back, and collapsed on her couch. She perched herself on her desk, which was covered with papers- pictures, really. 

"I needed to see you, Scully." My voice was no higher than a whisper. 

"There was no worse time you could have come back, Mulder. Why'd you have to pick now? Stupid, Stupid you." She leaned back, and opened one of the drawers. Opening a packet of cigarettes-Morley Lights, no less-, she pulled one out. Her hands shakening, she lit it and breathed in deeply. Exhaling, she looked back at me warily. 

"What are those?" I asked, still unsure that Scully was an author. 

"Pictures. I draw pictures now. Illustrations for children's' books." 

"I can never see you as a....." 

"You probably can't see me as a lot of things, Mulder, but I am. You have to accept that, and move on. I live here, in California. I grew up here. I love it here. You live in Washington- stuffy, regulated D.C. I love it here. You love it there. Enough said." "I'm still working on X-files," I threw in, tossing her a bait. She obviously knew what I was doing and wouldn't take it. 

"Oh. Who's your partner now?" 

"A young lady....an Agent Blair." 

"Is she pretty?" Scully asked, pressing on.She inhaled on her cigarette again. I knew something was wrong, but I answered her question. 

"Beautiful, actual. Blond, blue eyes...perfect. And she believes in most of my theories without a doubt. She is quick, bright and capable of doing the work." "Then why are you here?" she asked again, her voice accusing." It sounds like you're found your perfect match. I didn't think there could be one after Diana...but the dead aren't any good for you anyways." 

"That hurt." "You hurt me. With her." 

"I'm sorry. But there was something that I needed to tell you...something I've lived with for four years dying to tell you." 

"Mulder-" "No, Scully....listen to me." 

"Mulder-" 

"I love you Scully. You meant the world to me, and I.....just let you go. Without a fight or a whimper. Just let you walk away. How I wish...that I wouldn't have. That I would have fought letting you go so easily. I need you, Scully." I gritted my teeth, ready to hear her strict rationalistic garbage that she always threw at me. 

Instead, all I heard was the muffled sound of tears. I looked up, and saw tears in Scully's eyes. I sprung from my seat to comfort her, but she pushed me away. Angrily, she willed her tears away. 

"Do you realize how long I waited to hear those words? For nine years we worked together, Mulder. And all I wanted to hear where those three words. I love you. That's it." She smiled bitterly. "I waited for years. You could have had my heart, if you just would have told me that years ago." 

"But Scully.....you never even implied...." 

"I know. But I loved you all the same." 

"But you don't love me anymore." I said, the sickening realization hitting me. Scully didn't love me. 

"Mulder, I'm not the same person that I used to be." 

"I know that." Gosh, I knew that. 

"Everything has changed. You're not the same. I'm not the same. I don't want to go back to the way I used to live. I want to get married.....and live a happy life." 

"And....you can't do that with me?" I asked, hurt and confused. 

"Mulder, I don't love you!" she threw in my face, her eyes filed with anger....and confusion? "I can't love you. You hurt me too much." 

"Could I have just a week....a day . To set things straight. I need you, Scully." I closed my eyes, and couldn't believe that this was happening to me. 

"Mulder, I have a wedding to plan. I really don't have any free time." 

My head shot up. "Who's wedding?" 

"My own, Mulder. I'm getting married to Mel in two months. He wanted you to be his best man.....but you shouldn't have forgotten your friends." "You're getting married?" This was too much for me. 

"Yes, Mulder. I'm getting married. Is that a problem?" she asked, a spark back into her eye, challenging me. 

"I'm.....just suprised. I never thought.....why did he want me to be his best man?" 

"Friends stick together forever." "What does that mean?" 

"You shouldn't forgotten your friends." Sighing, she got off of her desk,stabbed her cigarette into the ashtray, and walked over to me. Sitting beside me, she took my hand. I glanced down, and saw the beautiful band of silver encircling her ring finger. It's touch turned my blood ice cold. 

"I'm sorry, Mulder." 

Later that day, I was lying on the bed in my cheesy hotel room. Scully was getting married. I didn't think I could feel so low, and so stupid. Here I was, pouring my heart out to her.....and all the time she was engaged. What a stupid idiot I am. 

And to think....after all these years, she was the one that really mattered. Diana.... was a mistake. I'll admit that. When I first met her....she was a bright, cunning agent that BELIEVED in me. Could see my potential. I had thought that I loved her....but I was wrong. In the end, it was Scully that I had turned to, Scully that saved me a thousand times over. She was the person I could always lean on, always trust. She was my Scully. 

I stayed in California until Sunday night. I had to meet this Mel, the man that was taking my Scully from me. She pulled up to the my door and blared the horn once to let me know that she was waiting. I tossed on a rumpled shirt, tied my shoes and stumbled out the door, locking it behind me. 

She looked amazing, like always. A tight black dress-short black dress- and a black lace shirt over it. Her hair was pulled back, but unruly strands fell out. Dark eyes stared at my outfit skeptically. "I take it you don't have a high opinion of Mel, do you?" I didn't think her question warranted an answer. 

I climbed into the car, and gave her my award-winning smile, hoping to warm her up a bit. She punched her foot on the gas and took off. 

"What happened to calm, casual driving?" I asked, clutching the sides of my seat as Scully darted back and forth between lanes. 

"This is California, Mulder. People don't value their lives as highly." Again, she fell silent, and I didn't feel like forcing her into a conversation. 

Pulling into a parking place at the airport, she jabbed me in the ribs. "Be nice." She glanced in the mirror, seemed satisfied, and climbed out of the car. I followed her. 

"Mel said his gate was 38......This way." She walked quickly and efficiently, me striding to keep up with her. 

"Do you always walk this fast?" I asked, panting for breath. 

"I don't want Mel to get off his plane without us there." She didn't even glance back to see if I was following her as she darted back and forth through the crowds of people. Finally she stopped, and collapsed onto a bench. 

"We should be able to see Mel from here," she announced, putting her feet up on the bench. I sat down beside her, and looked at her long and hard. 

"You're crazy, woman." 

"At least you and Mel agree on one thing," she said with a laugh. "Oh, there's his flight. See, we barely made it in time. Do I look okay?" 

To me, she looked like the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, but I didn't figure she's want to hear." You look fine." She gave me a small smile, then turned and ran towards the gate as the passengers started to get off the plane. 

Scully hugged a tall man dressed in a black suit and well groomed hair. Smiling, he said something to her quietly, and she laughed out loud. She gestured at me, and the guy started to walk my way. 

Was Scully marrying this suit-and-tie kind of guy? I didn't really think he was her type.....he was too much like me. 

Scully didn't move, but punched a tall blond in the shoulder as he walked outside. He put up his fists, but all she did was mess up his bowl-cut. Sighing, he straightened his tee-shirt and looked around. She whispered something into his ear, and I looked away. 

This was too much. The tall blond.....wasn't Scully's type of guy. She was WAY out his league. 

"Mulder. It's good to see you again," the suit-and-tie guy said. I turned towards him and did a double-take. 

"Byers?" Then I groaned. Great, more old friends to get screamed from. 

"And what about me?" the blond asked, towering over me. I realized that I knew him, too, and groaned again. 

"Langley? What are you two doing here?" "Visiting the lovely Dana Scully, same as you," Langley said with a sigh. "Too bad she's getting married." 

"I take it, you knew about the wedding, right?" Byers said quickly in a measure voice that reminded me of the weasel-Spender. 

"Yeah." I fell silent, and they stared at me." But where's Frohike?" I asked, looking around. "And Mel?" 

"Over there," Byers said, pointing. I took one look and almost died. 

Scully was passionately kissing a short man. Looking almost like a monkey, Melvin Frohike kissed her back, wrapping his arms around her thin waist. 

For a minute, the wind was knocked out of me. 

"You mean.....Scully's marrying.....Frohike?" I asked, shocked. I couldn't put together a coherent sentence. 

"Well........duh." Langely said, with a pat on my back. "Didn't you know that?" 

"They met at one of the bars out here.....he was pretty broken up because of you, and she...well, she wasn't doing very well." Byer's didn't look like he wanted to elaborate, but Langley took over. 

"She'd get herself drunk every night, crying, reminiscing about the past, and Charlie would have to bring her home." 

"Who's Charlie, anyways?" I mumbled softly. "She was kissing him at the bar a couple of nights ago." 

"Her brother. Younger. William, Melissa, Dana, and Charles." Langley said with a smirk. "I wish Melissa wouldn't have been shot....how cool that would have been- me and Melissa.........." 

"One day Frohike came out West here by himself, and happened upon the same bar that Dana was at," Byers said, snapping Langley into the real world. "She recognized him, and they started to talk......" 

"The rest is history, you might say," Langley said, grinning. "Now look at them." They hadn't broken from their kiss yet, and I felt like I needed to throw up. 

"I need........I need........." I stumbled around for the right words, and Scully and Frohike walked over to us. 

"Scully......I need to go home. Now. Okay?" I said, backing up." "I'm going to go find out about ticket prices and such." 

"Mulder, don't you want to spend time with us old friends? We can get a bite to eat and then hit a bar or two....." "No. I need to leave. Now." Without another word, I turned and walk away. I didn't look back, just kept walking. This was impossible. This was just a really bad dream, and in a minute I would wake up and everything would be fine. It was just a dream......it was just a dream.... 

"Mulder." At the sound of her voice, I faltered. Stopped, looked back at her, through the crowds of people. 

"I'll always care for you," she mouthed, and an intense sadness filled my heart. My shoulders slumped, and I turned to leave. I would never see my Scully again. 

"Mulder." Turning again, she blew me a kiss. Catching it, I walked away. 


End file.
